How I Manage My Anxiety

By CL Bledsoe — NOT ANOTHER TV DAD

I have anxiety and clinical depression. The depression is difficult and acts kind of like a constant background noise, but the anxiety, though less constant, is much more debilitating. It only pops up from time to time, but when it does, it dominates my experience. For me, the most stressful thing about anxiety isn’t the thing I’m anxious about; it’s the buildup and the aftermath. The thing, itself, when it finally happens, usually isn’t even that bad.

Let’s say I have to do a presentation for an executive audience at work. I do these every few weeks. There’s a myth that anxiety comes from lack of preparation. Anxiety isn’t a rational reaction, so to understand it, you have to examine it from a different perspective. If you don’t have anxiety, you probably don’t understand how all-consuming anxiety can be. Maybe a week out, I’ll notice I’m having trouble sleeping, eating, and focusing on things. Mind you, this isn’t because I’m obsessing about the presentation — I may well not be thinking about it at all, consciously.

There’s the presentation, itself, to prepare. I’ve learned that I have to do this as soon as I know it’s coming. If I put it off, my anxiety will get worse and worse until I won’t be able to even think about the presentation in anything approaching a rational way. It’s kind of like trying to hear what…