On Discovering a Talent for Love After a Lifetime of Failing at Relationships

By Tim Clark — HEAD ABOVE WATER

I’ve always struggled in relationships. It is easy enough to coast along in the early days. Sooner or later things start to get a little tangled. Maybe things get rocky, or even worse, maybe things start going well. Either way it is only a matter of time until something goes wrong, or something goes right, and somebody gets hurt. It was just a good idea to jump in and smash things up, a preemptive strike. Like the song says, “When it’s all been said and done I did alright and had my fun, but I will walk before they make me run.” [1] It seemed to make sense at the time. I was never too happy, and never too sad.

One Friday afternoon I was sitting in a dark, air conditioned bar. It was late spring and the crowd was thick and lively. Loud, boisterous conversation, laughter, singing with the jukebox, pool balls clattering, the soundtrack of an afternoon in wasted, wonderful reverie. Someone opened the door and waves of warmth and light flooded in, almost magically from the glare a woman emerged. She was stunning, pre-Raphaelite curls cascading in blond waves over her bare shoulders. Big, brown eyes, milky white skin, she was adorable. Nobody knew who she was. Someone said they thought her sister was one of the waitresses which turned out to be true.