On the Messy Magic of Parenthood

By James Prenatt — OTHER FATHER

Nothing prepares you for meeting your child the first time. I don’t think I would want to be prepared anyway. My wife had been having contractions for a few weeks, so we were both pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. She woke me up at four in the morning and I was surprised to see her in visible pain. Before, she didn’t have much emotional reaction to the contractions at all. I thought there would be more waiting. I thought it would take more time. I had other things on my mind, like a writing workshop I was in, that had me checking my phone constantly.

It all happened so fast. We were moved from room to room, and had just been getting comfortable, really. I mean, I was comfortable. I don’t think there was much that anyone could’ve done for my wife. I tried to rub her back and hold her any way she needed as she sat through contractions. I’d been supportive about the pain for a long time, but in the end there wasn’t much I could do. The next minute they were putting the needle to her back for an epidural, but before they could administer it, she had to push.

I’d never seen such pain, but I’d also never seen such strength. I can’t imagine what it takes to carry a life inside of you for so long and to thrust it into this world, to let go of something that was once a part of you. It’s incomprehensible to…