Why We Need to Move Beyond the Expectation of Motherhood for Women

By Melanie Schoo — BRAZEN

“Is there something wrong with you?”

I look at the person who ask just asked me this, their brow is creased and they are squinting. I don’t make sense, I’m a puzzle that needs to be solved. I’m not talking to a medical professional or police officer, this is just some friend of a friend that I’ve been standing next to at a barbecue.

The reason he thinks that there’s something amiss is because, as part of the obligatory introductions, he’s discovered that I don’t have any children. As I sail towards my forties, questions about my reproductive plans and output come up at least once a month. It confuses people, it worries them.

By all rights and conventional practice, I should have kids. I’m a woman of child-bearing age and hip width. I’ve been married and in a pretty stable domestic and financial situation for a long time. I’ve got a house, a respectable linen collection, and impressive array of white goods. I’m generally high-functioning and do a fairly believable impression of an adult.

I don’t and I won’t ever have kids. I could list the all of the reasons here and attempt to justify myself, but I’m not going to, mostly because I shouldn’t have to. Most people would never consider asking someone who is…